Finding Pilates

I remember that I was getting a nudge to do the study. I was fairly unhappy in my day job at the time and needed somewhere to focus my energy.

I had been unsuccessfully applying and interviewing for other work for months.

I had not done a lot of Pilates. Hardly any reformer. But mat I had enjoyed on an adhoc basis over the years. It was an unusual choice because I had planned to study Yoga teaching but for some reason (I think because it was fully online), I went with Pilates instead.

It was late 2020, I was 32 and not pursuing theatre because of Victorian Covid lockdowns. I felt as though I wanted to put my energy somewhere and kept telling myself that I could pull out of the study if it wasn’t right. I was due to start in Feb 2021 and over the summer felt quite unsure and often reluctant to start. Not excited.

Once I jumped in, my doubt didn’t fade fast. It was obvious that the other people in my classes were seasoned Pilates pros. I remember getting things wrong and looking to the others for answers a lot. Their bodies were strong and I distinctly remember not being able to do the rollover unassisted* which felt like a foundational movement (while it looks simple, it is not easy!).

I kept showing up. Lucky for me I didn’t have much going on other than my full time job at the time. No kids or big responsibilities. It was good timing.

As I went along, I started to find a simple joy in it. The learning, connecting with the other students and using my body. My background in acting was helpful with leading a class, speaking clearly and confidently; it felt as though I was on the stage again!

My vitality increased and my energy changed.

In August, I got a promotion at work. September, my studies completed and by October, I had landed a weekend job teaching Pilates.

To this day, it’s one of the best decisions I have ever made. It made my body strong which I am certain helped me through both pregnancies and postpartum periods at 35 and 37 years old. It transformed my energy and boosted vitality and gave me a new way to connect with my local and wider community. It also took the focus off my day to day and gave me a new energetic outlet.

My learning was that in the future, I don’t have to be ready or sure. It’s highly likely that I won’t be.

Connecting with and trusting that quiet voice that doesn’t go away, is the way. Keep taking the small steps. Just be crap at the thing. And see where it takes you. Maybe it’s normal to not be able to see too far ahead. Maybe that’s the whole point.

*This inspired my ‘how to (rollover) video on YouTube’.